OMG!

Holy Shit! What have I gotten myself into here? It was all fun and games back in March (and for the several months before) when we were trying to get pregnant. It was quite a frustrating process when it wasn't happening month after month after month. Now, here I am living in the hospital and a little place I call denial. What am I getting ready to do tomorrow. I think my time without visitors today has left me alone with my thoughts and I'm not sure I like myself right now. :-) I'm starting to rethink this whole thing. Well, that's not entirely true. I'm just starting to wonder why this process has to be so terrifying and why I was looking forward to it. I think I was looking forward to it because it was so far away I didn't have to worry about it. Now that it is starting tonight ... FREAKING OUT!


My OB came in and gave me a run down on how things will go. They're starting my Cervadil tonight at 5:00 and I'll be hooked up to the monitors overnight too. The Cervadil technically shouldn't cause me to start labor but the doc said it has on other women twice this week already so who knows! I can't eat or drink past midnight so maybe I'll set an alarm and gorge myself at 11:30. ha ha ha! I should sleep well because they'll also give me an Ambien. zzzzzzzzzzzz. Tomorrow, they remove the Cervadil at 5 am and let me shower and 'get ready' then around 6:00 it's time for the pitocin and the real work begins. She'll be back at noon tomorrow to check me and break my water if it hasn't already (what's left of it anyhow) then I guess we just hope I'm progressing. The good news is my OB's office is across the courtyard from the hospital so she'll be right there if we need her at any other time.

Oh CRAP!! What the HELL am I doing?


Here's hoping for a November 29th birthday!!!