I'm starting to worry that we don't have everything we need for Megan's arrival and I'm also freaking out about how our lives are going to change! I know this is typical and while I'm totally freaking out I'm also so anxious and excited. James is so excited too but I'm not sure he's freaking out like I am. He seems to hide his worries well. Well, he hides them and he's in NYC right now so he has other worries and he's miles away. He's going to Nicaragua and Honduras next week and let me tell you how excited he is about that one (sarcasm) but after that trip ... he is done with travel this year! Of course he goes back to NYC to freeze his butt off in January which means I'll be alone with our very new baby. Again, freaking out here. :-)
So, getting to the "boobs" part. (I wonder if people google-ing porn will find my blog entry since it says boobs - hee heee). I was doing research on the breast pumps again. I just don't know what to do. I plan to breastfeed but I'm still trying to convince myself that I can do it. I've read books and articles and crazy things online about it and everything really says if you don't you're an evil mother. I wish they would just give the facts without inserting that accusation but it is what it is and I've come to terms with that. I won't be going back to work after Megan is born so it makes absolute sense to BF but I'm still a little uncomfortable with the whole idea. I was planning to rent a breast pump from the hospital but it looks like their rental station won't be up and running by the time I'll be in need so I've been researching pumps to see what I should buy. Since I'm going to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM for those of you who don't frequent message boards) I probably shouldn't spend a lot of money on one of those fancy ones that are meant to be used all the time. On the other hand, just because I'm a SAHM doesn't mean that I want to spend hours pumping when I need to just because I decided to save some money and buy one of the cheaper 'occasional use' pumps. THEN there's the fact that I'm not 100% sold on the idea so if I buy a $250-$300 breast pump and decide I just can't do it I've wasted a TON of money. BUT again, I think I'm more comfortable with the idea of being a dairy cow hooked up to the milking machine than the actual act of breastfeeding. There's always the possibility all this will go away the second I lay eyes on my daughter. Is that worth the $250-$300 risk? I suppose I could always buy one of the good ones and keep the receipt. I figure I'll know after a couple days if I'm really going to try to stick with it. I know it's best. I know it's best for a year. If I'm still going strong I plan to revisit the issue when the teeth appear.
On a side note, I just heard my cousin is still nursing her 22 month old. Not only that, but her doc said it's OK to nurse her at night (and by night, I mean like 2:00 am) if her daughter wants to. I understand children become the center of a parent's universe but ... wow. Did I mention she's a single mom who works full-time too?
I've come to terms with the fact that I'm really a wuss. I still haven't read a whole lot of the labor and delivery parts of the books because I'm just not sure I want to know. We attended the classes where we watched videos and had group discussions and I've read some message boards where other women talk about their fears and stuff. I have complete faith in my doc and the nurses that they will take care of everything. I know what 10 cm looks like. I know that's where I need to be. Do I really need to know the details? :-) Oh hush people! I plan to read the books but I might be doing it between contractions.
So what's left?
1. Finalize the pediatrician. No, we have not done that.
2. Pre-register at the hospital. No, we haven't done that either.
3. Pack a bag. Don't judge me. I still need to get a robe and slippers too!
4. Gather a few last minute items from the registry that Megan will need soon.
5. duh - the breast pump issue
6. Pray that I will not lose my mind.
I'm sure there are a million more things to do and we'll realize what we've forgotten after the fact and James will have to do it all because let's face it, I don't think Megan and I will be out and about for a while.
3 comments:
Oh Gosh- you do have a lot to think about! Breast feeding is a challenge- it was very hard at first, and when they tell you it is easy and doesn't hurt- they are Oh Gosh- you do have a lot to think about! Breast feeding is a challenge- it was very hard at first, and when they tell you it is easy and doesn't hurt- they are LYING! But if you stick with it- it does get easier, and is so very convenient (no bottles to wash, no heating them up, etc). Can you rent a pump at another hospital/ lactation center? Just an idea. And don't bother reading the labor books- just get the epidural and relax until they say push! Then afterwards call the nurse for pain meds every few hours so that you don't feel it! :) You can do it, don’t worry.
OH I am so annoyed right now...I just wrote this whole long detailed comment and lost it! POOP!!
ANYWAY, don't stress out too much it will all be ok- seriously. James can run out and get whatever you need and you still have a few weeks to get things done. I am not a BF-nazi or anything but I BF both my girls and yes it was hard at first but we got the hang of it and it was so worth it. I had a Medela dual pump or whatever and it was great. Labor is not that bad, I promise! ;-)
Put it out of your mind that you "can't" breast feed. Now it might suck for the first couple of weeks but it gets easier I PROMISE. I personally would get a good breast pump as I just got home from NYC myself and I forgot a crutial part to my pump and had to buy a manual pump and it SUCKED!! You are going to want to pump in order to let James feed her sometimes, a little bit of freedom, etc.
If you have any questions or need someone to call crying in the hospital please I can pop over there anytime. I cried with both kids not that will probably make you feel any better!
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