Megan Elizabeth Starke

I plan to give all the details but I'm too exhausted and it's almost time for a feeding! The good news is that everything went smoothly, possibly more smoothly than planned. She was born at 2:06 pm, Thursday, November 29th and weighed 7 lbs. 1 oz. and is 19.5 inches long.



After her first bath. Lovely hairdo!

With mommy. We don't take pictures of mommy today. Or at least we don't share them on the blog! :-)

With Daddy. He's an old pro and has changed two diapers already! WOW!

OMG!

Holy Shit! What have I gotten myself into here? It was all fun and games back in March (and for the several months before) when we were trying to get pregnant. It was quite a frustrating process when it wasn't happening month after month after month. Now, here I am living in the hospital and a little place I call denial. What am I getting ready to do tomorrow. I think my time without visitors today has left me alone with my thoughts and I'm not sure I like myself right now. :-) I'm starting to rethink this whole thing. Well, that's not entirely true. I'm just starting to wonder why this process has to be so terrifying and why I was looking forward to it. I think I was looking forward to it because it was so far away I didn't have to worry about it. Now that it is starting tonight ... FREAKING OUT!


My OB came in and gave me a run down on how things will go. They're starting my Cervadil tonight at 5:00 and I'll be hooked up to the monitors overnight too. The Cervadil technically shouldn't cause me to start labor but the doc said it has on other women twice this week already so who knows! I can't eat or drink past midnight so maybe I'll set an alarm and gorge myself at 11:30. ha ha ha! I should sleep well because they'll also give me an Ambien. zzzzzzzzzzzz. Tomorrow, they remove the Cervadil at 5 am and let me shower and 'get ready' then around 6:00 it's time for the pitocin and the real work begins. She'll be back at noon tomorrow to check me and break my water if it hasn't already (what's left of it anyhow) then I guess we just hope I'm progressing. The good news is my OB's office is across the courtyard from the hospital so she'll be right there if we need her at any other time.

Oh CRAP!! What the HELL am I doing?


Here's hoping for a November 29th birthday!!!

Birthday Set!

I saw my OB today and the first thing she said was "Looks like we're having a birthday party Thursday!". She was excited for me. My specialist recommended delivery at 37 weeks so my doc is taking that and running with it. I will be 37 weeks on Thursday. She did give me the option of induction or c-section and I decided to go the induction route. They starting me with some stuff on my cervix to get it going (sorry if it's TMI for some of you) on Wednesday night then the big drugs on Thursday (pitocin) to finish the job. We're giving it one try and if it fails, which I guess it does sometimes, we'll do a c-section on Friday. I will be monitored closely because there is a chance that the reduced fluid could cause problems for Megan tolerating the contractions. This would happen even if I went into labor on my own - it's not really an issue caused by induction. There is a chance she'll need a stay in the NICU once she's out but we're praying that doesn't happen. I am ready to get out of here but life sure will be different when I do!!

The worst part about being in the hospital these past couple weeks is all the stuff I missed out on. There was so much I planned to do, starting with getting a couple more weeks out of those damn maternity clothes. I wanted to do last minute shopping. It would have been nice to try on nursing bras instead of just buying them by look on the internet. I wanted to start Christmas shopping. I wanted to assemble things and organize things. Instead, I sat here in a cave all by myself and didn't really get to enjoy being pregnant ... showing off my pregnant belly. I am definitely going to miss being pregnant. Seriously, aside from the whole hospital thing and a little achiness I have felt fantastic. I love feeling her move inside of me, even when I'm freaking out because I can't remember the last time she moved. Granted, I'm getting much bigger now and am getting more uncomfortable but the hospital bed has helped. I have five pillows packed all around me supporting me from every side and it's nice to have the rails to help me up! You should have seen me trying to shave my legs yesterday. ha ha ha well, I'm glad you didn't see it. It wasn't easy and will probably be the last time I shave for a while. Good thing it's 'long pants' weather!

We're both freaking out about what to do once we get the baby home. Neither of us are "baby people" and never have been. Changing diapers and bathing and feeding are things we're all going to learn together. The dog just didn't complain much so having the demand of caring for an infant is going to be a rude awakening for a couple of people who like doing what we want when we want. As unsure as we both are, we're both really excited.

My plans for my first few days/nights at home.
1. pizza. James said we could order pizza soon after we get home with baby. Do I still need to avoid pepperoni? I guess if I'm nursing I shouldn't eat the jalapenos. hmmmm. I think I'll get a LARGE and not share it. Who's counting carbs anymore? NOT ME!
2. sit outside. I have really missed fresh air. I think we're supposed to have warmish (for December) weather when I get home so maybe I can sit outside on the glider with my little girl.
3. snuggle with the dog. I'll just have to spend some time with the pup while James gets some bonding time with Megan. I miss my poor pooch so much!

I guess I shouldn't make any more plans than that because I won't have time to do anything else between feedings and diaper changes. right? You know, James and I laugh because we took those babycare and childbirth classes and still don't have a clue. Waste of money? maybe. We'll see. We took them so long ago it was still a distant thing for us but now it's here. YAY!

quick update

I don't really have anything new to report. The specialist was here at around 9:00 tonight and he found my fluid levels are still the same (marginal), she appears to be around 6 lbs. 5 oz., and overall looks good and healthy. He said either 37-38 weeks for delivery would be OK. So we wait. Some more. I guess the best news is that she still looks happy as a clam in there and the specialist did say 37 weeks is OK for delivery. Now I just need to see what my OB has in mind ... and I should see her tomorrow afternoon. Maybe I'll know more tomorrow. Maybe not. Either way I'll let you know.

On a side note, I think the hospital is trying to kill me. They brought my dinner at 4:40 pm tonight and eating three meals and two snacks so close together is causing my after dinner blood sugar to skyrocket. Nobody really seems that concerned by my high numbers but it is very annoying that I was able to control it better on my own at home. Seriously, who the hell eats dinner that early?? I might get used to it and maybe I'll start fighting the senior citizens for the early bird special at the Sizzler.

That's all I got tonight. I could go on but I'm just bitchy so it wouldn't be any fun for you to read. Hope everyone is getting back into the work routine after Thanksgiving and I hope you're not all tired of leftover turkey!!

WHOOP!

It's a good day to be an Aggie!
I think we'll change Megan's middle name to "38-30". :-) What an awesome game! I kept waiting for it to fall apart and it never did! (I was hoping to go in to labor but I never did.) I don't know where that team came from but it certainly wasn't the same team I have been watching all season. Too bad, we could have been better. I guess if we had been better we wouldn't be looking for a new coach. Adios Frannie. I loved ya when you joined us but it was time to say goodbye.

Congrats to the basketball team too for winning the NIT Season Tip-Off!! I hope it's a sign of things to come for the basketball program. Last season was a lot of fun so hopefully this season will be too!!

As for Baby Megan and an update on my hospital status, I'm just going to quit guessing. When the doc stopped by today (it was Dr. McHottie again today) we asked her what she thought about when I might have this baby evicted from my ever expanding uterus. She figured he probably wouldn't recommend induction at 37 weeks if my fluid levels are the same - borderline. Just great. Just what I needed to hear this morning. She indicated that I wouldn't be allowed to go past 39 weeks but that he probably wouldn't want to deliver me at 37 if there's no real reason to. Bottom line, I won't be going home until I have this baby and I could be here until to my due date. I am going to stop speculating and trying to read between the lines. I think we just grab onto the bits and pieces of info that sound good to us and dread the bits that sound horrible. I swear the last time my specialist was here he said 37 weeks would be it BUT I think maybe he's expecting to find lower fluid levels ... or some other reason to deliver this baby early. He is coming back Monday to take another look and we'll go from there. Until then, I'm in the hospital and not going anywhere any time soon. I did have some regular contractions earlier this evening that I was actually feeling in my back but they seem to have stopped. :-( Too bad.

I have to remind myself that it could be worse. There is another 'bed-rester' down the hall that is only 31-32 weeks. She has Placenta Previa so she's not even allowed to get out of bed. Not even to go to the bathroom or take a shower. I know how lucky I am that I have the freedom to go outside (in a wheelchair) if someone will take me. I live for those rides even now with the cold weather.

Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

I can't believe it is already Turkey Day. When I first found out I was pregnant back in April I really never thought this time of year would come. It seemed so far away. To be honest, that was probably mostly due to the fact that I knew I had 9 months of NO BOOZE ahead of me. Then that grew into anticipation for what was to come. Then we found out we were having a little girl and, more honesty here, that idea took some getting used to. Let's face it, I've never really been much of a girly-girl so the idea of having a little princess of my own was a little befuddling. Then we decorated the nursery. James is so wonderful and did an awesome job painting walls and hanging curtains while I sat back and watched. It looks so beautiful and I love it!! We were anxious to register and get the house ready for baby. I think the poor dog was wondering what all the commotion was about. Next came the showers our friends and co-workers so generously hosted for us (thank you!) and the baby gear started to take over our house and our lives. We started stocking up on diapers, toys, and clothes ... oh so many clothes ... for our little Megan. We've had some ups and downs. Some unexpected bad news followed by some great news. A crazy diet and not so great hospital food. I just can't believe the time is here. I can't believe we'll be welcoming our little baby girl in just a little while. Things may not be going as planned for us but we are adjusting to that. I quit my job to take time to get the house ready and do baby laundry and set up all her gear but ended up in the hospital instead so poor James has been taking care of everything. He really seems to be enjoying himself though and he has been wonderful keeping me updated with pictures. We dreamed of the typical labor and delivery where we rush to the hospital together in excitement (panic) but face it, how often does that really happen these days? We are very thankful for many things this year but I think my docs are near the top my list. If they weren't keeping such a close eye on me and making me stay off my feet in the hospital I don't even want to imagine what might happen. I am very thankful that my mom is so close by and has been helping us gather last minute baby gear even though she's currently living in a box on wheels and has been so busy with her upcoming move. I am thankful that I have the best husband in the world who has been taking such wonderful care of me and is trying his hardest to keep me involved in everything he's doing at home. Most of all, I know we are both thankful for this little bundle of joy (and insanity) on the way and we can't wait.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Turkey Day!

I hope the Aggies have a wonderful day after Turkey Day. WHOOP!

The Good ... The Bad ... The Ugly ...

I actually have new news to report. I know it's been a while because all I do is sit here in bed and do nothing so the only news I get is when people come to me.

We'll start with the GOOD ... my MFM specialist popped in unexpectedly earlier tonight to do a follow up sono. He was up here to see another patient so he stopped in to see me too. Everything looked great with the baby and my fluid has actually increased a little bit. I was just under 10 so while that's not a huge increase it does mean my fluid isn't decreasing, which would be bad for baby. He also said the baby looks healthy with lots of movement.

On to the BAD ... which isn't really bad but it depends on how you look at it. We got ourselves all psyched up to have our baby this weekend but now we're back in the holding pattern. MFM specialist will be back up here next Monday and wants to try to get one more week of the pregnancy to get me to 37 weeks. Yes, I know that's a good thing, term is always better than early, but we were looking forward to meeting our little girl.

The UGLY ... well that's quite obvious isn't it? I'll be in the hospital for even longer. I won't be 37 weeks until November 29. That's next Thursday. I'm gonna get bedsores on my butt.

All of this really is good news. There are many reasons to wait for 37 weeks and as long as my little girl continues to show off for the docs on her NSTs, as long as my fluid doesn't decrease before Monday, and as long as I don't go nuts and jump out a window, we should be able to make it. If they wait until I'm actually 37 weeks I have a chance of getting that blue topaz birthstone instead of citrine, I won't have to miss the A&M/tu game to give birth, my OB will be back from vacation (yay!) and we (James) will have more time to get stuff ready at home. We were starting to get anxious about the idea of technically having a preemie and were listing things we needed to discuss with the docs and literally 5 minutes later he walked through the door to do the sono. Creepy.

I actually left my room today. James wheeled me downstairs and outside after dinner. I had to stay in the wheelchair but it was nice to get some fresh air. I think we'll make another trip tomorrow while the sun is still up.

And here's a laugh for you since you are faithfully reading my blog. Yes, I try to keep a smile on my face. I figure it balances out the stretch marks on my belly. Besides, it's all for the well being of my baby so it's definitely all worth it.

The writing is on the wall ...

My doc stopped by this morning just to check on me. It was Dr. McHottie and James wasn't here this time. :-) Too bad for him!! I asked her if we really were planning to do this (have the baby) this weekend and she said yes. My nurse tonight told us that my chart said they were planning to induce on Friday. So I guess my December baby is now a November baby and you know what? The November birthstone isn't as pretty as the December birthstone. I suppose it fits that a fall month has a fall colored birthstone but I had my heart set on a pretty piece of blue topaz as my mommy present. :-) This is what I think about at night. After James leaves (and I get the computer back - ha ha ha) and I'm alone with my thoughts. These are the things that pop into my mind. The mind I happen to be losing as the walls close in on me in my little cubby hole.

I had a nervous moment this morning when they hooked me up to the monitor. Her heart rate dipped right off then she was just steady for a while, not doing much of anything. I had to roll to the other side, which is much easier said than done when you're big as Shamu! I poked at her a little bit and really pissed her off because she just went bonkers. So everything was fine and no contractions. Tonight she looked great from the beginning and I was hooked up for about an hour and all is well. A few small contractions but nothing crazy - I didn't even feel them.

I am so happy tomorrow is Monday. Sunday TV was horrible until the football games started and I was awake way before then. At least I know I can watch TNT all day tomorrow and maybe some soap operas while I sit here and pull out my hair!! I can catch up on what's going on in Pine Valley and Salem! For now, I guess I'm stuck with Jerry Maguire.

Tom Cruise is such an idiot.

Hello again

I feel like I'm always posting. Hell, what else can I do? I hate being stuck in this bed all day but at least I'm getting the rest I need. I guess. I did nothing but watch college football all day long and the OU/Tech game is currently at half time. Poor James is worn out from all this running around I've had him doing. He came up here in the morning to see me then went home to gather more crap for me. He did laundry while he was at home today and hung the letters in Megan's room too. Then he drove through Chick Fil A to bring me dinner (because the dinners here absolutely suck). He is the most wonderful husband in the world and I don't know what I would do without him. I guess since he's been so wonderful I shouldn't wake him up. hee hee! Here's a pic of the letters!! I can't wait to get home and see them in person because I know my camera doesn't do justice to anything.

Luckily James was here when the doc came in to see me. She spent quite a while with us so that was good since it was one of the partners. My doc is on vacation all week so I'll be seeing the other two while I'm here. Today it was Dr. McHottie. She might actually be younger than us but I'm OK with that. We are getting old after all. Anyways ... she spoke with my specialist last night and filled us in on their discussion. She said the specialist is coming back Friday to re-scan me and then, to quote him, "we'll probably go ahead and deliver her". So, unless my fluid level miraculously and dramatically increases, it looks like I'll be having my Christmas baby a day or two after Thanksgiving!!! I'll be 36 weeks, which is a little early, but still a very safe time for the baby to come. I asked the doc if that meant induction or c-section and she said basically, right now, it can be my choice. Of course, that all depends on what the ultrasound shows on Friday. If I do have the baby next weekend my doc won't be here to deliver her! We've met Dr. McHottie three times now but haven't met the other one at all. My appointment with her was supposed to be this coming Tuesday. Oops. I'm sure we'll meet her sometime this week. I'm bummed my doc won't be here but I figure it serves her right for putting me in the hospital twice. :-)

I asked the doc if we could wait until second half of the Aggie game if we have the baby Friday ... we're sure the first half will be the only part of the game worth watching. :-) Poor Ags.

It's bedtime snack time for me. That's one of the things about gestational diabetes I'm not too sure of. Sometimes it's nice to have a snack and sometimes you don't really want to eat before bed. Tonight is one of those good nights ... and I have a carton of milk with my snack. Yum-O!

Be careful what you wish for

I wanted a week to do nothing ... I got it. My fluid level was just about the same as it was last Friday so I was wheeled to the hospital again and hooked up to the monitor again and stuck with an IV again. The only difference? This time I was on the monitor all day long and sucked down almost three bags of fluid before my MFM specialist came to do another ultrasound. Looks like I'm here for the duration. My amniotic fluid was 8.4 which is unacceptable. Both he and my OB agree that they wish it would have been either below 5 so I would have had the baby or above 10 so they could have sent me home. The specialist said we're trying to get another week out of my pregnancy. He's coming back in a week to do another sono and I might be having a baby next Saturday ... or I might be here for another week. The good news? They removed my IV and the monitor and brought me a more comfortable bed. I don't have that wacky breakaway delivery bed anymore and I don't have to unplug myself from anything and take anything to the bathroom EVERY TIME I GO - which is very often.

Just wanted to let you know what's going on. The baby is doing fine. She looks wonderful and healthy and is measuring about 5 lbs 14 oz. Aside from being away from home for my last weeks without a baby and knowing how much we needed to get done before her arrival ... and being in the hospital over Thanksgiving weekend instead of actually being in College Station for the game like we originally planned ... all is well.

5 Weeks Left!

Today was our shower at JC Penney. It was kind of a surprise since James thought it was on Friday but he gave me plenty of time to get ready. It was fun and I finally got to put faces with names which was nice too. Of course, I doubt I'll remember many of them. His co-workers were very generous and I can't wait until James gets home so we can play with all of our ... er ... I mean Megan's new toys!!

Tomorrow is the big follow-up ultrasound. They'll recheck my fluid levels. I'm sure everything is fine but I think I might pack a bag tonight just in case. Yes, I know I should have a bag packed already but I don't. I have definitely been the busiest 'couch potato rest' person in the world with something going on every day. I hope Megan decides to wait until the second week of December so I can have a good week of nothing to do before she arrives.

Back to Ugly Betty. This show makes me laugh!

Happy Wednesday

My doc appointment went great yesterday. It was at 7:00 am (ugh!) and I was out of there at 7:30!! WOW! All I did was the non-stress test and it was perfect. Meg was a good little wiggle worm and showed off for the doc. My specialist didn't think an ultrasound was necessary since I'm having one on Friday so they didn't check my fluid levels again. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all looks good on Friday but I'm sure all is well the way she's moving around in there. I'm being a good girl and drinking my million gallons of water and I am taking it easy.

Today we took a trip to a different doc. My poor dog hurt her paw this morning. :-( My mom took her for a walk then was playing with her in the backyard when she yelped and lifted her paw. She was limping around all morning and I really expected it to go away but she continued to limp so we took her to the vet at 3:00. (my mom had to load her into the car since picking up a 75 lb dog is probably against my doc's orders). I felt sooooo bad for my poor limping dog! She is my first baby after all. :-) The vet really couldn't determine where it hurt because she wasn't crying out in pain when he was messing with her leg but he narrowed it down to one of her toes and her ankle. I decided to not have them do the x-rays because she really seems to be fine, aside from the limp. She's wagging her tail and eating and she's still walking around when she doesn't need to. I got some medicine and was instructed that she be a complete "couch potato" for about a week then we'll check back. I had to giggle since we're now BOTH on "couch potato rest". My poor doggie. No walks and no playing! I know the feeling!! Another sign she's not too bad ... she has this habit of getting a mouthful of food from her bowl in the kitchen and walking to the edge of the carpet to actually chew it (yes, she is one crazy dog) and she was still doing that tonight, limp and all. Now she's asleep up on the sofa so I'm pretty sure she'll be OK.

James is coming home tonight! WOOHOO! He left Monday (before the sun came up) for Honduras then spent Tuesday night in Nicaragua. I spoke to him Monday night and he was able to call me Tuesday to make sure I wasn't back in the hospital or anything crazy like that but then there was nothing until he landed in Miami today. We decided it was OK that he take the trip. My doc said it would be fine and my mom was coming to stay with me anyhow so it wasn't necessary for him to cancel his trip. Everyone made us second guess that decision, and maybe we are crazy because there wasn't really a way I could reach him while he was gone, but it just didn't seem necessary for him to cancel. It was only two nights ... and now it's over and he's on his way home and I'm so excited. This was his last trip until January!! YAY! A whole two months without any travel.

I turn 35 weeks pregnant tomorrow. That means only 5 weeks left, max. We have SO much left to do. I suppose I need to make a list and get it done one thing at a time since I'm not supposed to do too much. YIKES! I could have only three weeks left until I have a BABY! OMG! FREAKING OUT HERE! :-) The only thing is, I absolutely can't wait.

Home again! - second entry today

I'm home! YAAAAY! It felt so good to have that IV taken out of my hand so I can use it again. They had to put it in my right hand ... and since I'm right handed it made things very difficult. It also felt soooo good to take a shower. I was only there for 24 hours so it wasn't like I was all gross or anything but it was nice to wash the 'hospital' off of me. Then I sat on the sofa and watched the Aggie game (they tried - it looked better than most games this season - but it wasn't enough). I slept through a lot of it so now I feel all blah again.

Anyways - doc said I need to be off my feet. I'm on modified bed rest - which she called "couch potato rest". I'm allowed to get up to eat and shower and all that stuff. I can also run to the grocery store and do errands but should pretty much stick to one thing a day. The dog will be happy to know I still have permission to take her for short walks around the block too. My doc encouraged me to use the motorized shopping carts at Target ... hee hee I can see it now. Crazy Pregnant Lady Runs Down Obnoxious Kids in Local Target (because they were wearing those stupid shoes with the wheels on them rolling all around the store. grrrr.) So James is getting mad at me every time he sees that I'm not on the sofa. I went to put a load of laundry in and he scolded me. I figure if I'm allowed to go to Target I can certainly wash a load of towels. Don't worry, I won't exert myself cooking him dinner or anything. ha ha ha! Poor James is being so wonderful. I hate that I won't be able to help him around the house since he works such long hours. He's the only one bringing home the bacon but now he has to do everything else too. He's such a trooper.

So that's where things stand with us. Glad my last day of work was yesterday because it would have been anyhow. I can't wait to email my former co-workers and let them know.

OHHH - best part about being in the hospital unexpectedly? We're now registered AND the breast pump store is up and running! YAY! I will be able to rent for the first month then see what works for me! Two things off my to-do list!

Excitement

I swear ... if it's not one thing it's another. Everything is OK with baby Megan BUT we did spend the night in the hospital Friday night. Actually, I'm still in my hospital bed awaiting breakfast but I figured there was no better way to spend my time. I had an ultrasound yesterday, my typical Friday appointment, and everything looked great with the baby but my amniotic fluid levels were pretty low. Some doctors consider 10-20 normal and some consider 12-20 normal and my level measured around 8 yesterday morning. A level of 5 would have meant induction so I'm happy I wasn't that low!! SO ... they wheeled me over to the hospital and set up an IV (which they finally got on the second try - OUCH!!). They did another ultrasound and estimated my fluid levels to be about 10+ so as soon as they hook me up to the monitor again after breakfast this morning I should be able to get out of here. My doc promised I would be out of here in time to see the Aggie game which is on at 11:30. That was before she found out I was having contractions. I haven't seen her since that became an issue yesterday afternoon. I had a few pretty strong and relatively frequent contractions yesterday. They appeared to be BH (fake) but they were more frequent than your typical BH contractions but at least they would go away when I rolled over to my side. I'm a little worried I won't be able to sit up for the rest of this pregnancy if I have to avoid contractions!! YIKES!

I'll keep you updated when I get discharged. Let me tell you though ... trying to sleep in a hospital when you're on IV fluids really sucks. I'm well hydrated and every time I had to get up and go to the bathroom I had to unplug the damn machine and take it with me. I sent James home. It didn't make any sense for him to stay if I was just going to sleep (or try to) all night long. Everything was OK. I'm just here for observations. Not having the baby just yet! Besides, we did have the dog at home that needed someone there. :-)

Happy Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to my dear baby's daddy!

Today James is 34!
He's sooooo old.

The funny thing is today I'm 34 weeks pregnant.
Wierd!

Do you think he'll be excited that I got him socks and underwear for his birthday? Well, I haven't actually gotten it yet. I'm crossing my fingers that I can find his sizes when I get to the mall this afternoon.

Then I have to buy him a cake.

Then there's dinner - I'll probably order Chinese.

Poor James, I haven't put much thought into it this year have I?

OH - and happy LAST DAY OF WORK to me!!

It's a fantastic day all around!

All about the boobs ...

I'm starting to worry that we don't have everything we need for Megan's arrival and I'm also freaking out about how our lives are going to change! I know this is typical and while I'm totally freaking out I'm also so anxious and excited. James is so excited too but I'm not sure he's freaking out like I am. He seems to hide his worries well. Well, he hides them and he's in NYC right now so he has other worries and he's miles away. He's going to Nicaragua and Honduras next week and let me tell you how excited he is about that one (sarcasm) but after that trip ... he is done with travel this year! Of course he goes back to NYC to freeze his butt off in January which means I'll be alone with our very new baby. Again, freaking out here. :-)

So, getting to the "boobs" part. (I wonder if people google-ing porn will find my blog entry since it says boobs - hee heee). I was doing research on the breast pumps again. I just don't know what to do. I plan to breastfeed but I'm still trying to convince myself that I can do it. I've read books and articles and crazy things online about it and everything really says if you don't you're an evil mother. I wish they would just give the facts without inserting that accusation but it is what it is and I've come to terms with that. I won't be going back to work after Megan is born so it makes absolute sense to BF but I'm still a little uncomfortable with the whole idea. I was planning to rent a breast pump from the hospital but it looks like their rental station won't be up and running by the time I'll be in need so I've been researching pumps to see what I should buy. Since I'm going to be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM for those of you who don't frequent message boards) I probably shouldn't spend a lot of money on one of those fancy ones that are meant to be used all the time. On the other hand, just because I'm a SAHM doesn't mean that I want to spend hours pumping when I need to just because I decided to save some money and buy one of the cheaper 'occasional use' pumps. THEN there's the fact that I'm not 100% sold on the idea so if I buy a $250-$300 breast pump and decide I just can't do it I've wasted a TON of money. BUT again, I think I'm more comfortable with the idea of being a dairy cow hooked up to the milking machine than the actual act of breastfeeding. There's always the possibility all this will go away the second I lay eyes on my daughter. Is that worth the $250-$300 risk? I suppose I could always buy one of the good ones and keep the receipt. I figure I'll know after a couple days if I'm really going to try to stick with it. I know it's best. I know it's best for a year. If I'm still going strong I plan to revisit the issue when the teeth appear.

On a side note, I just heard my cousin is still nursing her 22 month old. Not only that, but her doc said it's OK to nurse her at night (and by night, I mean like 2:00 am) if her daughter wants to. I understand children become the center of a parent's universe but ... wow. Did I mention she's a single mom who works full-time too?

I've come to terms with the fact that I'm really a wuss. I still haven't read a whole lot of the labor and delivery parts of the books because I'm just not sure I want to know. We attended the classes where we watched videos and had group discussions and I've read some message boards where other women talk about their fears and stuff. I have complete faith in my doc and the nurses that they will take care of everything. I know what 10 cm looks like. I know that's where I need to be. Do I really need to know the details? :-) Oh hush people! I plan to read the books but I might be doing it between contractions.

So what's left?
1. Finalize the pediatrician. No, we have not done that.
2. Pre-register at the hospital. No, we haven't done that either.
3. Pack a bag. Don't judge me. I still need to get a robe and slippers too!
4. Gather a few last minute items from the registry that Megan will need soon.
5. duh - the breast pump issue
6. Pray that I will not lose my mind.

I'm sure there are a million more things to do and we'll realize what we've forgotten after the fact and James will have to do it all because let's face it, I don't think Megan and I will be out and about for a while.

Wonderful Weekend

We had the best weekend. It started out great with my doc appointment Friday morning. Everything is back to normal. I am still scheduled to do the ultrasounds and non-stress tests every Friday but we're holding off on the Tuesday appointments indefinitely. My doc has renewed her concern for my baby's size so we'll continue to watch her growth but she doesn't see any reason I won't have a normal delivery of a normal baby. We're on Megan's schedule and I may actually make it to 40 weeks. We'll see!

James got home from work early Friday so it was nice to actually have him around for dinner. I LOVE that Friday Night Lights is on Friday nights now. It's our favorite show - probably the only one we've kept up with this year. I haven't even been watching Gray's or Housewives but I have both TiVo'd and plan to watch them all after my last day of work!! Maybe I'll even get back into my soaps!! We actually made it to Mass Saturday night instead of having to get up and get going on Sunday morning. The Aggie game was at 7:00 so we went to Mass and dinner all before kickoff. Also, everyone went to watch the Aggie game at someone else's house so it was just the two of us. Ahhhhhh. I love nice quiet evenings without people all in my face. :-) Anti-social? yes. It worked out well since the game was so horrible. Sunday was more of the same ... I napped while watching football all day long and we grilled steaks for dinner during that disastrous Colts/Pats game. All was right with the world later when The Amazing Race kicked off! I LOVE that show!! Probably our second favorite show. The teams are really weird and I was happy about the team that got booted. Being mean to donkeys ... I swear!

So I really didn't have much to say and I'm sure nobody cared what we did all weekend. Those of you with kids are probably laughing about my LOVE of television. I just wonder what I'm going to do while I try to take care of Baby Megan while watching Jack Bauer save the world starting in January. :-)

Yippeee!

I just went to the specialist for my follow-up ultrasound this afternoon and everything looked normal! We were SOOO excited. Even the doc, who has always seemed to lack in the personality department, seemed genuinely happy about it. He pointed out the normal bladder, normal stomach, normal intestine, normal kidneys and then asked what we thought ... we said it sounded like everything looked 'normal' and he agreed! YAY! No cyst. No fluid. Nothing that isn't supposed to be there. It was possibly THE BEST doctor's appointment I've had during this whole pregnancy. He also said she was measuring 5 lbs. 8 oz. Yes, she's already 5 1/2 pounds!! Goodness she must have had a growth spurt or something and is more on track to weigh around 9 lbs at term. I can't wait to see my doc tomorrow to see what she says about her size. Now I'm just hoping it's not the gestational diabetes making her too big. My blood sugar has been OK lately so that really shouldn't be it - and I even had a Happy Heal for lunch today! God Bless McDonald's french fries. mmmmmm. Even if I can only have a small order. SOO worth it. Anyways, I just wanted to share the good news.

I hope everyone had a Happy Halloween! We had tons of Trick or Treaters last night but we still ended up with some leftover candy. Sure wish James would eat it all and get it out of here!! Lots of cute costumes and not too many obnoxious older kids without costumes. We were done by 8:15 which was great so we could watch Criminal Minds without getting up to answer the door every 2 minutes. You should have seen me trying to get up every time the bell rang. I'm sure the poor kids thought nobody was coming.

Back to the doc tomorrow morning for yet another ultrasound and non-stress test. I told James I'm so OVER doctor's offices but I guess it's good they're taking such good care of me and I do enjoy seeing her in the ultrasound and hearing her heartbeat.