Still ...

Emily still gets a bottle every night before she goes to bed. It is my quiet time with my little one and I live for it each and every day. We just sit there and rock in her dimly lit room (while we listen to Megan splashing around in the tub and laughing when she gets James soaking wet). It is my time to think. I am always thinking about Emily's early arrival and the NICU stay and how far she has come. I still feel the emotions of the day she was born. I still feel the fear that came with each contraction as they were coming as close as 3 minutes apart while my mother drove me to the hospital. I still wonder if I missed something. If pre-term labor could have been avoided, or at least caught early and stopped. I know she's almost a year old and is doing amazingly well but I still think about it. I can still see my doctor's face when she told me I was 6 centimeters dilated and my bag of waters was bulging through my cervix - and we needed to do a c-section - and it needed to be done quickly. I can still remember crying when I found out my nurse's name was Emily. I can still hear the panic in James' voice over the phone when I told him what was going on. I can still feel each of the 3 attempts at the epidural while I was shivering in the sterile operating room. I can still feel every minute of the c-section that I never thought I would have and remember the staff counting instruments making sure nothing was left inside me (or to make sure I was charged for everything). I can still hear little Emily's first cry and I can still see her all wrapped up as they whisked her off to the NICU. She was so beautiful but I am still very much aware that I wasn't able to hold her until days later. I still remember being wheeled through the hospital, in and out of elevators, and into the NICU to see my little girl. I still remember touching her tiny little hand with my finger - I was so afraid and she looked so small and weak. I still remember taking and sending Emily's first picture with my phone, that isn't supposed to be on in the NICU. I still remember eating every bit of my clear liquid breakfast the next morning of chicken broth (seriously? for breakfast?) and I can vividly remember the minute James walked through the door of my room at the hospital. Neither one of us had seen Emily since I took that picture at 11:00 the night before. I still remember being wheeled down there in a wheelchair ... and thus began our NICU experience. I still feel all the ups and downs of everything. The day I thought my world was crashing down on us, when Emily needed the blood transfusion. That was possibly the worst day of my life and I can still feel every bit of it. I also feel the good things. I still remember the JOY when I walked in and found her in an open bed instead of her isolette (incubator) because that meant she was maintaining her temp like a big girl. The day her oxygen was removed was even better than that. I still remember learning how to feed her a bottle and the first time she nursed. She started eating and just hasn't looked back!! Throughout this whole experience ... the ups and downs ... all the emotions, most of which I could live my whole life without ever feeling again ... I still want to do it all over again. I still want another child. I still want another pregnancy. Gestational Diabetes and Pre-Term Labor be damned. Am I crazy? Are we crazy?

Emily is almost a year old. I can't believe how far she has come in a year. I can't believe how far she has had to come. These are all the thoughts I was having last night actually while we were having our quiet time. I just couldn't kick them out of my head so I had to share.

I can't believe how great the girls' Santa pic came out this year! They both actually smiled at the same time and there was absolutely no stranger danger. They were a little unsure at first but not a tear was shed!! I'm so proud of my big girls!



The experience was a nightmare though. James went early to pull a number (because that's how this Santa rolls) and he was lucky enough to pull #6!! Just to give you an idea, by the time we were in line with the first group to go, at 11 when Santa started seeing kids, they were on #180+. Those people wouldn't be seen until LATE afternoon, nearing dinner time. We got there early and saw the trains before heading back to hear Santa tell a story. Then, we were called to line up at right around 11:00 am. Apparently they were having some technical difficulties so we stood ... and stood ... and stood some more with two very squirmy little girls. Once the "tech difficulties" were resolved a group of special needs children was allowed to cut in front of us. I did not have a problem with that but it just meant we had to stand there some more. Emily is still a morning napper and she was without said morning nap. And it was 11:45 by then. She was such a trooper though and we were lucky James pulled #6 since we were finally done with our Santa pics by noon. By then, it was time for lunch and a little shopping!! It's a great new family tradition ... 2 years in a row ... I call that a tradition!

Emily's first SNOW!!!

We had a little snow the other day. The girls slept through most of it and by the time we were able to go out and play (er ... mom's photo op) it was already raining again. It was gone quickly but it was Emily's first snow so YAY! for cameras. Megan wasn't too sure about it but that might have been the crazy way I got them up and dressed so fast ... and then dragged them outside before breakfast.

More about Megan

I forgot to list her 2 Year stats in my last post so here they are ...

drum roll please ....

Height: 37.5" above 97%
Weight: 30 lbs. 15 oz. 90-95%
Head: 20" above 97%

The good doc said her numbers are rounding out nicely so they're still in line with where she's been her whole life. She did really well at her visit. She didn't scream at the doctor at all and I think she might have even given him a smile. She got her H1N1 vaccine so at least she's covered. They're only giving them out to high risk and at well visits - whatever - so Emily will get hers in January I suppose. She's the one I'm really worried about but I guess it's really no big deal. As for Megan, he said not to force toilet training, take her to the dentist, and move her out of her crib. I kind of chuckled because when I mentioned she was still in her crib he immediately told me we need to move her out. That she's too big. I feel bad for the poor girl because if she was a couple inches shorter it wouldn't be a problem. So, we're trying to figure that out since it absolutely DID NOT go well the last time we tried. Load of fun coming up for us!!

In other news, James and I had a couple date nights last week. We had happy hour with his work peeps on Thursday at Sambuca in The Shops. Pretty cool place but apparently they think a lot of themselves. Saturday night was his boss's big party. That was a fully catered affair with food from Blue Mesa (and margaritas - wow, just realized that's probably why they were blue. duh!) and we watched most of the second half of the Big XII Champ game in his humongo-media room. It was fun. As fun as a work party can be I suppose. I hope there won't be a quiz any time soon because I've met a lot of new people in the last few days. Lots of faces to keep straight. It is nice to finally put faces with all the names ... especially the boss.

So the Longhorns pulled out a bullshit victory. TCU got screwed. The Cowboys have started their annual December slide. My Aggies are going to a bowl game to get their asses kicked. At least my fantasy team did well, coming in FIRST in the regular season and going into the playoffs with a bye week. I guess that's the only kind of football I can count on these days. Fantasy. GO KILLERS! Mamma needs a new pair of shoes!!

Megan is (officially) 2!

I blogged about the pinkalicious party but had to share some pics of Moo's ACTUAL birthday, which was the day after. She's really starting to ham it up again for these "chair" pics so hopefully I'll be able to keep them up for a while.



Here she is reading her photo book about her FIRST birthday party. Grandma is making her a new book about her second birthday party. She loves seeing herself in a real book!

Both girls looking out the door. Grammy missed the party because she wasn't feeling well so she came over on THE day to deliver her cool present and have some fun with the girls.

Megan in her pile of presents. Think we went overboard? Nah, not at all!! Never mind that Christmas is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!!

She did have some fun tearing the paper this time. She got bored after a couple and wanted to play with the neat things inside.

Emily just wanted to help a little. She liked the paper too but mostly just wanted to eat it.

So Emily spent a little time in wishing her sister a happy birthday from the BOUNCY BOUNCY BOUNCY thing. I have this on video and really should share. She makes me laugh so hard when she really gets going.

Megan LOVES her gift from Grammy. It's a little baby-care station with a high chair and a bath and some storage for their clothes and stuff. LOTS of baby care going on here.

Since it was her actual birthday she had another cupcake with another candle. She did try to blow it out this time but didn't have enough force to do it. I think she just wanted the cake.

Megan LOVES cake!!

Pinkalicious!!!

Saturday was Megan's birthday party. She loves the book "Pinkalicious" so we used that as a theme though I didn't go all over the top pink. Yes, we wore pink and had pink cupcakes and decorations but that was about it. I didn't want to throw food coloring in everything because I guess some super-moms these days aren't all about the dyes and preservatives, etc. Besides, with Thanksgiving on Thursday and her party on Saturday I just ran out of steam I think. It's hard planning both events in the same week. I think next year we'll move Megan's party to the weekend before TG or a whole week after. It will make it easier on us and maybe her friends will be in town. Anyways - here are some pics from the party. Yes, there were other people there but a lot of the 'candid' shots of other people might make me lose some friendships ... ;) ... so I'll not post them.

Daddy came home with balloons!!

Even Daddy is wearing PINK!

Did someone say "CUPCAKE"?

One of Megan's favorites!!

It honks, plays music, and has turn signals!!

Thank you Grandma!

It's OK doggie, everybody went bye-bye.

Ahhhhh, comfortable and playing.

Pink face and all!

Turkey Day!

We had a nice Thanksgiving. My mother-in-law, mom, and brother came over and I made a turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, pumpkin pie and (apparently too few) rolls. It was an easy meal to make which is a good thing since there are two little girlies running around the house!!

Megan enjoyed being my helper.

Just waiting with Uncle Coach for the food to be served.

Megan and James watching the Cowboys game!

Go COWBOYS!

Emily was a mess with her Turkey and Rice meal.

She's not a fan of the chunky stuff so it tends to come right back out at me.
At least she's clapping at something so she must be happy, right?

Well, this is Megan just being cute so I had to include it.

Yes, it was a good day even though the poor Aggies lost. We put up a good fight though and we just can't ask for much more than that when they're ranked "National Championship-ish" and we're ranked "better luck in a few years". I started to fall asleep during the game but I know it was a good one by the way James kept yelling. It had been a long day and maybe I had been a bit overserved by the time 9:00 rolled around. ANYWAYS ... Hope everyone had a great Turkey Day!

Oh - and Emily does NOT like cranberry sauce. I wish we had a picture of the face she made. Too bad because the pics from last year's Cranberry Massacre by Megan were classic.

Catching my breath and catching up ...

Wow!! November sure is a crazy month. I think the year is over once we hit Halloween because the rest of it goes by in a blur! I can't believe it is already December!!! I'm also trying to update the Shutterfly page with pics but apparently the last time I loaded anything on there was September so it will probably take a while. Here is a little of what we've been up to ...

Emily is learning to climb but she's not quite so graceful stepping down.

Megan LOVES to hang from things.


And here she is gathering acorns!

She had quite the collection going!!

Emily just wants to climb like her big sister!

And run and swing like her big sister!

Just thought this was cute of James and his two girls.