Introducing Miss Emily Grace Starke!

Welcome home baby girl!

scratch that last post ...

EMILY IS COMING HOME TODAY!!!

Five More Days

It's a bad news/good news kind of situation I suppose. Emily had a brady tonight at 7:23 pm so she will not be coming home tomorrow like we had planned. The doc will make the final call in the morning but we're 99% sure he/she will restart the countdown. Frankly, I hope he/she does because I don't want that happening at home. I was so excited today about the idea of finally having her at home but I guess she's just not ready. SO ... the good news part of it ... we have another full weekend to get things done!! Did anyone ever think I was a 'silver lining' kind of gal? We still need to install her car seat, wash the bottles and bouncy seat, figure out where we're going to keep her clothes since she'll be downstairs with us for a while, and I'm sure the list could go on and on. Now I need to do more laundry for her and take clean clothes to the hospital too.

In even better news, she is up to 5 pounds 11.8 ounces. She is gaining weight so fast!!

Speaking of weight ... I have lost 18 pounds, according to my doc's scale. I had my 6 week post partum visit today. She seemed almost concerned that maybe I haven't been taking care of myself but I had to remind her I was on the gestational diabetes diet for 7 months and only gained 2 pounds during the pregnancy. I finally got clarification on the cause of my early labor. It was a fluke! Don't you like that reason? They did find a tiny little blood clot looking thing, like a blister almost, in my placenta which usually indicates infection but the test came back negative. It was just one of those things I guess. I will be at greater risk of preterm labor again if we have another baby so they'll have to test me every two weeks and I'll most definitely be put on some sort of bedrest early until 34 weeks. Right. Bedrest with two kids. That would be interesting. At any rate, she told me to give it at least a year for the c-section to heal so no more Starke babies until 2010!! :-) By then I might welcome some bedrest time.

Now we're holding our breath ...

So I get to the hospital today and the photographer is there taking Emily's picture. Em looked so cute in her little outfit ... and then I saw her head. The lady put a bow on her head. Now, I understand that you guys haven't seen pictures yet but trust me when I tell you that she really doesn't have much hair at all. There, on her little mostly bald head, was a dainty little pink bow. You know how she got it to stick? Vaseline. A dab of Vaseline was holding a silly little pink bow on my daughter's head. I'm not a bow person. If there's no hair, there really shouldn't be a bow. Especially if you have to glue it to the child's head. I'm not a fan of the headbands either but I have to admit that some of them really do look cute. Seriously though ... sticking a bow to my baby's head with a dab of goo? The pictures were cute though so don't be surprised if you actually see one of those stupid bow shots someday. I only saw the proofs ... I don't have access to the photos yet.

ANYWAYS ... as we were taking the last picture ... the doctor walked in. I hadn't even talked to the nurse (I tried calling earlier but got no answer so I didn't bother calling back) so I didn't know how Emily had done overnight. Well, she was perfect overnight. Her last brady was that one on Sunday evening. Dr. W gave me the news that she can come home FRIDAY AFTERNOON as long as she behaves herself until then. I brought her car seat in so they could do the car seat test. I don't know if I told you about that ... she had to sit in her car seat for 90 minutes to make sure she can tolerate that position. It is really important since she is rear-facing in the car and I won't be able to see her back there. She did well during the test but the doc has to give the final pass/fail grade and he hadn't looked at it yet when I called earlier.

Needless to say we're freaking out a little. James is in Vegas and is supposed to go to NY next week so he's really freaking out. I left the hospital early today so I could go to Babies R Us and stimulate the economy a little. Well, OK, a lot. We needed a ton of crap for some reason. Silly stuff too like new bottle brushes ... and some cute clothes. When I got home, my mom and I took Megan to the mall. I need some new clothes, in a really bad way. My bathroom scale shows I am down 20 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight and all my jeans, while nice and comfortable, are a little big and just make me feel dumpy. I need some tops too. I have been in maternity clothes for most of the last two years and the rest of my wardrobe is just pathetic. I struck out and didn't buy myself anything, though Megan and Emily got some stuff. Lucky girls!

We're anxious and excited and keeping our fingers crossed that Emily is finally old enough to come home. We can't wait to have our whole family together.

The countdown continues ...

... to reset. Emily made it a whole day without a brady. The doc said she could come home Thursday if she behaved herself. She decided Thursday wasn't good for her at 6:15 tonight when she dipped to 45 and held her breath long enough that she turned blue and the nurse had to remind her to wake up and get going again. So we wait another day. We were so excited when we found out she made it through the night without a brady. I'm still happy about that because I think it was the first (maybe second) time she's made it through a whole shift without an alarm so that's definitely progress. Thursday would have been a good day for her to come home but you know what ... so is Friday ... or Saturday ... or even a week after that. I'm in no hurry as long as she is strong enough to come home safe and healthy.

She's up to 5 pounds 4.3 ounces. I love that she continues to grow and gain weight. She just seems so big to me now. Compared to the first time I held her, she is. I can't believe it has almost been 6 weeks. An exhausting 6 weeks. I'm starting to feel somewhat human again. I'm sure I'll dive back into the fog when she comes home. I will probably be getting even less sleep and will definitely be doing more work. I just pray that Megan continues to nap well in the afternoon and Emily will take that time for a bit of a nap as well. So then mommy can nap. mmmmm ... sleep.

Happy Hearts Day!

When we arrived at the hospital today Emily's nurse had made a valentine for us from Emily with her footprints on it. It was so cute and it almost made me cry. I hadn't gotten her footprints yet. Apparently they were supposed to make something for me with them but they never did. She took the page out of Emily's chart that had her footprints on it from right after birth and made a copy of them for me. I was so happy to have her little 3 lb 9 oz. footprints. She is up to 5 lbs 3.8(?) ounces. I didn't write down he weight and for the life of me I can't remember what it said on the board. I know she was up to 5 pounds 2.5 ounces yesterday and she gained more than an ounce.

Anywho ... we're still waiting for her to go 5 days without a brady. Hell, we're still waiting for her to go one day. She seems to have about one per shift but that's much better than the 15+ she was having per day. All we do now is just wait for her to get older and outgrow that silly habit so she can come home.

I had a good birthday today. James made waffles for breakfast and he got me a new camera!! I wanted something smaller that would take better pictures. Our digital camera is now about 4 years old and, unfortunately that translates to 'really old' when you're talking about technology. I don't have it all figured out yet but I did take some pictures with it today. I haven't put any on the computer yet because I had all our pics stored on the laptop which has decided to crap out on us. It starts up and seems to be functioning but the screen doesn't work so that's a real problem. I don't know if we can plug it into our desktop monitor or if we should try to get it fixed. grrrr! Anyways, we went out to lunch today (mmmm Saltgrass) with Grammy and Grandma to thank them for all they've done for us over the past month. They've gone above and beyond the call of duty for sure. Also, we thought it might be the last time all of us would be able to go anywhere together for quite a while because once Emily is home we will be in our RSV quarantine until May!! After lunch, we all went to the hospital. The nurse offered to take Emily up front so Megan could meet her but honestly, what good would that do for a 14 month old? Maybe a photo-op for us but it's not like Megan would really understand. The poor girl has NO IDEA what is about to happen to her life.

Update

Emily lost a few grams and was down to 5 pounds 0.9 ounces. Hopefully she is back up again by now but the little hiccups in weight gain are completely normal as long as she continues to gain overall.

So, I spoke with the doc again today. It was a new doc we hadn't met yet but we're used to that by now. She said that basically everything else is looking good and there is no apparent reason to keep her in the hospital, aside from her bradys. I mentioned that she has to go 5 days without a brady to be discharged so ... as soon as she does that ... Miss Emily will be coming home!! We know it can be a disappointing wait, that babies sometimes make it 3-4 days then have to start all over again, so we're not holding our breath yet. It is just good to know that she's on her 'final countdown'. As of this afternoon (around 4:00 Thursday) her last brady was at 6:00 Wednesday night. That puts her coming home Tuesday at the earliest. I haven't called to check on her yet tonight though so things could have changed. She is now taking all feedings by bottle and is at a minimum of 50 ml per feeding, but can have more if she wants it. As soon as she takes all 8 feedings in a 24 hour period without a problem they will remove her feeding tube. (YAY!)

She does have a few other things to do, shots to get and tests to pass, before being discharged but we have one foot out the door and we couldn't be more excited. Of course, since she's a preemie she is at a much greater risk for RSV (which can be very dangerous in very young, small babies) so we will be 'quarantined' until RSV season ends, which is the end of April. We won't really be taking her anywhere and she should not be around other children until then. The doc said to minimize trips to the grocery store or mall and to cancel any playdates Megan might have scheduled but that we're free to take all the walks we want to get moving and get some fresh air. It will be a quiet and lonely couple months but I think that's just what we all need right now. I am just looking forward to getting to know my little girl other than at 1130 am and 230 pm every day.

And for those of you looking for a chuckle ... remember how James was out of town when I went into labor and had Emily? Well, he is scheduled to be out of town the next two weeks!! Looks like he'll have to cancel another trip for Emily's homecoming. Poor guy ... he's still learning a new job (and a new boss) and things have been so crazy for him. It is kind of funny how it has all worked out, though I don't think he sees the humor just yet. He doesn't travel again until June!

Another day ...

another ounce! Em is up to 5 pounds 1.4 ounces. She is still eating well, though seems to spit up when she takes her vitamins. I would too. They're gross. They look gross. They smell gross. I'm sure they taste gross. I think they were much easier on her when she got them through her feeding tube and the dose was split between two feedings. ;-)

Her blood work came back looking pretty good. Her hematacrit (right, however you spell it) was a little lower than it was last time, but only by less than 2. It was down to just over 27 from 29. Considering the previous week it dropped from 35 to 29 we're hoping this is a new trend forming. The docs said she might reach a valley, then plateau for a little while, then start creeping back up so hopefully that's what is going on with Emily. The tests also proved that she is producing blood so ... you guessed it ... we just wait another week. She'll be tested again next Tuesday.

The doc also said she might be ready to come home in two weeks. We're not holding our breath, or holding him to that timeline, but it was nice to have someone give us an idea of when it might happen. She's still having her bradys. Today, she choked a little while she was eating and actually turned blue for a minute while her heartrate dipped and she kind of quit breathing. It was a little scary ... but I was fresh out of my CPR class that we're required to take so it was a little 'hands on' experience. The nurse came over and we had to give her a little extra air for a second to get her to pink back up. It's those kinds of things that she has to quit doing before she can come home and frankly, I'm happy to let her stay there until she doesn't do that anymore.

So ... things are still going well. She's over 5 pounds and has been taking her bottles really well. She can have 6-8 bottles a day out of her 8 total feedings so it just depends on how awake and alert she is when it's time for her to eat.

Speaking of 'time to eat' ... Megan is up from her nap and I bet she would like a snack! Mommy sure could use a nap ...

Guess who weighs 5 pounds today!!

YAY Emily!

Progress

Emily is still doing very well. She is up to 4 pounds 15.2 ounces. Not far from 5 pounds and, who knows, maybe she'll hit that mark when she is weighed tonight!! She is getting so big. She still has a ways to go before she'll be able to stand up to her big sister but it's good to see her starting to fill in with a little fat on her bones. She is now taking 5-6 of her 8 daily feedings by bottle. They call it 'nippling' but I think that's just way too much use of the word 'nipple'. When I got there today for her 11:30 am feeding she was already awake and rooting around. She was hungry and ready to be fed. Unfortunately, it was time for her eye exam. Preemies are at risk for ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity). Her exam went well and showed that everything was normal, so far, for a baby of 35 weeks gestation. She will need a follow-up exam in 4 weeks to be sure that she's in the clear. The exam itself was horrible and I can't believe she will have to endure it again. After that trauma, she wasn't in the mood to work for her meal so we just wrapped her up and fed her through her tube. I was able to nurse her at 2:30 pm though and she is an eater! I kind of had to pry her off after 40 minutes. We didn't even supplement her feeding afterwards because she seemed really content. She stayed awake and alert for another 15-20 minutes and I felt like I couldn't leave while she was awake. She is an amazing little girl.


Tuesday is a big day. She has another follow-up blood test to check on the anemia. If her numbers dropped much more the doc plans to get the hematologist involved. We're praying for good numbers so Miss Emily won't have to worry about further testing.

Emily is up to 4 lbs. 8.9 oz. She's getting so big! She has started taking some feedings by bottle and has done really well with them. As of Tuesday she had taken two bottles and completed them both. When we tried the first time I was told not to expect much but she ate the whole thing! She really is an amazing little girl. The bottle feeding success is more progress towards coming home. She has to be able to take all 8 feedings by bottle before she can be discharged. By the end of the week she will probably be taking half of them so we're definitely getting there. Another condition she has to meet is that she has to be free of bradys for five days. So far she hasn't even gone a day. She typically has a couple per shift but they are still considered somewhat normal in babies who are only 34 weeks gestation. She does seem to be having fewer of them and she is really recovering on her own but her heartrate is still dipping pretty low sometimes. They have told us stories of babies who have gone 4 days without an alarm but have one of the 5th day and have to start the 5 day countdown all over again. I'm afraid it can be frustrating but I certainly don't want her coming home before she's ready and we don't have to worry about that for another couple weeks. It is just a waiting game ...

Her blood test results came back somewhat normal but the numbers are still trending down. The doc is concerned because her bone marrow still does not seem to be producing enough red blood cells to make up for what her body is breaking down. Preemies have a tendency to be anemic and that usually peaks around 4-6 weeks. Since Emily is only 4 weeks old now we will just "wait and see" what happens in another week. It is still very possible that her bone marrow will kick in and start producing more and she'll bring herself out of this anemia. They are puzzled why she started this around 2-3 weeks instead of 4 but it's not unheard of. It is possible that she will need another transfusion before they start doing further testing to determine a cause. The docs keep saying that "clinically" she's doing great, eating and growing and getting stronger, and she's alert and not lethargic so she seems to be feeling OK. So ... the news wasn't great ... but it wasn't bad either. More waiting.